Summer :-)

I haven't blogged in a day and it feels like forever (that is good no). So anyhow, it's Saturday and I've got so much to do and so little time BUT a post is way overdue and seeing as yesterday's temperature hit record levels, I thought I'd do a quick one on why summer is fabulous, especially in London!!!

You know it's summer when:

1. You leave your crib for absolutely no reason but to show off your latest hairstyle, pedicure and tights-free legs.
2. There are uncountable barbecue/house party invites every weekend.
3. You find yourself staring out of your window for far too long because your neighbours all of a sudden look more attractive.
4. You hear foreign languages in the changing room and one or two of those happen to be Yoruba, Igbo or Hausa.
5. Your body lotion lasts longer than your shower gel.
6. You go through the necessary 1 litre bottle of water a day just to stay hydrated and not for vanity purposes.
7. Your mother asks where you're going in your "underwear"
8. You call in sick every Monday, after partying all weekend and getting drunk on cheap Vodka.
9. Being single becomes more coveted than being in a relationship.
10. There are so many pregnant women about (after the cuddly winter months *wink*).
11. You can have an ice lolly and not feel like a big kid.
12. You brave the mammoth queues at Primark to stock up on strictly summer essentials like flip flops.
13. You are on a diet without even realising it because you are too busy having so much fun that eating becomes a time waster (hmmm not so sure about that).
14. You wear a pair of jeans but then take a pit stop at Topshop to buy a pair of shorts and change into them pronto!
15. You save your strolls for just before sunset to avoid going a shade darker than your MAC foundation.
16. All the beautiful people seem to be shopping in London (Beyonce was spotted in Topshop just a few days ago)
17. Hanging around the West End is as entertaining as watching an episode of Gossip Girl.
18. Someone is cruising beside you as you walk, trying to get your phone number.
19. Taking the bus is more convenient than taking the tube (I hear that!)
20. Driving past a bus stop, has more action than cruising down Amsterdam's red light district.
21. Everyone seems to be wilder than you remembered a few months ago.
22. You seem less bothered about going on a holiday because London has it all!
23. You draw inspiration for your next outfit from MTV Base rather than Grazia or Vogue lol (not me!).
24. Party planning is more lucrative than a 9-5 job.
25. When you remember everyone on your BB / Facebook contact list has a face because you will run into them at one event or the other. 

The list is endless but summer is here and so far it's one hell of a scorcher...luv it! Off to get ready for a wedding reception, to stun or not to stun, that is the question of the next 40mins eeeks!

Would you Fake it?

With so much time to kill, I found myself indulging in one of my guilty pleasures, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/. Ever since I had the exciting (hardly) task of pitching in a "Did you know?" segment in our daily equity market report to over 2,000 clients, I became very acquainted and unhealthily attached to reading celeb gossip on this site every day. It was one of the best things about having so many PC screens and multiple Bloomberg chats for further analysis on whatever hot story of the day my friends and I had read about (oh how I miss it). Today, I learnt one of my favourite fashionistas, Mrs Beckham, had been partying away with fellow designer pals and fashionistas at the 10th anniversary party for fashion web only retailer Net-A-Porter. Just like a lot of career women, I have indulged in the beauty that is convenience luxury shopping a la Net A Porter. The highly successful business founded by Natalie Massenet (who sold her share of the company for £50m in April), has been able to offer a unique mix of two addictive leisure activities -- shopping and perusing a magazine -- into one designer drug, doing for £575 Jimmy Choo shoes what Amazon did for "The Da Vinci Code" and iTunes for Coldplay.

A generation obsessed with labels and trend setting, it is no wonder businesses like Net-A-Porter which give us access to items initially only available to the rich and famous, have thrived so well in these times. But you can't help but wonder about another even more successful industry, "The Business of Knock-offs". A stroll down New Bond Street (a strong contender for one of my favourite hang-out spots in London), makes you seriously ponder why people would rather buy a pair of faux Fendi shoes from a car boot or thrift store, when you can save up and buy your one genuine Italian leather good or walk down this street, inhale the pleasures of new leather and fabrics, then call it a day. So I did what I love doing best, I researched the area and shockingly discovered that some women in the same earning bracket as myself, are willing to even indulge in designer rentals (remember Jennifer Hudson had a few of those as Carrie's assistant in the first SATC movie). They felt it was irrational and hugely materialistic to part ways with huge sums of money for designer items that would only go out of season before you had the chance to wear them (ever heard of classic buys like the Chanel flap bag??). Another best friend of mine who is a label freak and like me only believes in the real deal, claimed it was preposterous for people to think they could get away with this lol. I just plainly thought it was a bit hypocritical to want to wear these items and yet condemn people who actually paid good money to own the same thing. What about the designers or everyone else behind the art and beauty of these luxury goods? Ever think about how you had feel to see a knock off version of yourself posing as the real you? Not great huh. For me it is the experience that comes with shopping for authentic luxury items that further enhances the joys of them. If you happen to be doing it at the store, it is the impeccable customer service, the packaging and the untainted look of your new goods that makes it worth it. And if online, via the likes of Net-A-Porter, it is the  convenience, efficiency, and that special black and white bow that makes you want to do it over and over again :-)

Case of the Ex

Yesterday I asked a couple of friends "Can you stay friends with an ex?", prompted by an episode of SATC titled Ex and the City. Carrie and friends addressed the issue of what to do about a boyfriend who has reached his expiry or best before end date and it didn't come as a surprise to me that most of them responded "Chuck him, duh!". They didn't quite say it in those exact words lol (but it's my blog and I can quote and unquote :p). Carrie was however facing a dilemma of what to do about the ex that just wouldn't go away (yep a lot of people have one of those) and in her opinion, she had waited out the prerequisite six months cold turkey period quite magnificently, that turning her ex into a friend seemed like the most logical next step for them. WRONG! As I said to the 100th male friend who reassured me exes could remain friends, why try to turn your old shoes into a handbag when you can just give them away and feel even better about replacing them with a brand new pair of shoes :-). To this, he said I needed to shop less lol.

The interesting thing my research showed was men and women really are from different planets when it comes to pre/post dating rules. While most women would gladly wish for their ex (and everything else associated with him), to fall off the surface of the planet, most men are happy to keep open relationships with their exes and for obvious reasons. For one, there is always wiggle room for the all too popular friends with benefits situation (every man's dream). Another male friend described this as enjoying the goodies without having to deal with the goodie bag. Simply put, you get all the great stuff about the girl but you don't have to deal with the before and after mess of whatever you do/do not get up to. Sweet! Speaking to my lady friends, it was peculiarly mixed but more skewed to the HECK NO end of the spectrum (surprised? not much). As emotional creatures, we find it hard to deal with boundaries, perhaps because emotions ALWAYS blur lines and boundary lines are usually rather thin when converting an ex to a friend. One of my best female friends, a chemical engineer, cleverly said, friendship should be about quality not quantity (who said engineers were strictly quantitative creatures lol). She went on to say a terrible ex is not the kind of person you want as a real friend, especially not in the name of trying to prove your maturity. We all agreed with this as literally ALL guys pull out the maturity card when women tell them they do not see the point in being friends, particularly after a bad break up. One other male friend argued if you were good friends before you embarked on a relationship, chances are you will remain friends when it ends. This opened up a whole new area of discussion such as: 1. Can men and women really be good friends? 2. In cases where you were already friends, do you subconsciously try less to make it work, because you know you are bound to remain in each other's lives regardless?

Personally, I would rather not waffle on as I am multitasking, watching Germany try to beat Spain for a position in the world cup finals. Honestly, I have very strong views about this as I believe a lot of people are guilty of keeping in touch for selfish reasons but I also believe in second chances, so if an ex is worthy of one but reincarnated as a friend......why not?

P.S. Germany's chances are slipping away......... :-(

Two Can Play That Game?

Anyone see this romantic comedy film written and directed by Mark Brown back in 2001? It is an old favourite and one of those "empowering women" type flicks which is totally relatable and has a  new message each time you watch it. Back then, my friends and I would spend lazy Saturdays watching this movie over and over again (the joys of being stuck in an all girls boarding school in dull Oxford), religiously taking notes for a rainy day lol. Okay, time for a quick recap: An arrogant career woman (Vivica Fox) plays a series of heartless mind-games with her boyfriend (Morris Chestnut) to "put him in line," only to discover that he has a few tricks up his own sleeve. 

Amongst many girlfriends, there is always the one friend who serves as a voice of reasoning to all others. She is typically the one who gives advice on how to keep a man in check. And most times she is the one with the least experience (ironic yes but it makes sense as she is the least jaded). However in this film, her ideals are challenged when her man, threatens to stray. Like a lot of successful and well educated women, she feels that when it comes to men and their tricks, she knows them all. On the other end, her man is being led by his friend, who thinks he knows all the tricks that women play (another point, behind every game playing man is a clueless friend, who turns your man into your worst nightmare). When their relationship hit the rocks, the battle of the sexes begins. Though at the end of the movie they get back together when they realise in love, there shouldn't be any rules (or games).

Realistically, the conclusion of this movie should hold true BUT we all know better. It was during a heart to heart with an ex-colleague of mine that I found out I am one of those women who needs games to be played (still not 100% sure about that). According to him, my low attention span means I will forever need a man to remain mysterious and almost invisible, to remain interested. But he forgot another big trait of mine, my impatience! Granted, games keep things fresh and to some extent entertaining but knowing how to play the right kind of games and when, is what most people lack. For men, I believe game playing is an inbuilt thing, almost like swag. You either have it or not. Of course, both factors get better with experience but do you really want to end up with a man who has been around the block waaaay too many times?  My answer is heck no! I am a stickler for quality not quantity and I apply this to every aspect of my life (although in some cases quality and quantity are not mutually exclusive). I digress as always, but yes men do play games because women respond to it BUT what happens when a woman tries to play games? Can we really pull it off successfully?

After much deliberation and speaking to a bunch of people, the answer is YES WE CAN. But you have to be prepared to master the ropes and the possibility of giving your dog a kiss goodbye because most men  can't handle it. Double standards but hello! Have you seen the world today? Men cheat and we take them back. Women cheat we get labelled. Men tell you they will call you back and never do. Women do the same and get dumped. Men keep their Single status on their Facebook profile and women proclaim they are dating on Facebook, Twitter and oh BB messenger. Men withhold their emotions and women cry if an eyelash gets stuck in their eye. I could go on but I seriously believe majority of women can't play games and although imitation is the highest form of flattery, it is just never quite as good as the original. So yes we can play games but men do not respond well to it and at such the object of our game playing scrams, leaving us game-less. Also some words of wisdom for the guys, women read game playing as a sign of confusion. If you know what you want, you don't need to cheat to get it, after all, game playing is simply a reassurance or validation of your significance to your love interest (yes I said it! :p).  

Hi5!

Hi5 anyone? Nope didn't think so either lol. Well I was feeling a bit adventurous the other day, so I logged into my hi5 account (can't believe I even remembered my log-in details). I am not quite sure what I expected, seeing as the advent of Facebook, Twitter and Blackberry messenger literally made hi5 extinct, but I wasn't quite prepared for the fun and games this once upon a time coolest social networking site had in store for me. I was initially going to call this post "What ever happened to hi5?" but we all know the answer to that one, technology!

As an  avid technophobe (trust me I don't know how I got an A in A-level Information & Communication Technology), I totally sympathise with victims of technology such as myself and of course hi5. Our common symptom is an inability to keep up with technological innovation and a need to keep things uncomplicated. At first glance, hi5 is a hot mess but definitely less intimidating than Facebook or Twitter. However, after mucking about, you soon crave the added functionalities of the more advanced social networking sites, such as a better web layout and display and of course advanced security settings. For instance, I noted back then, random strangers could view and comment on your photo uploads and I managed to WOW and LOL at the calibre of comments which were no match for anything I have encountered in my Facebook inbox. Just to give you some colour, I had a total of four photo uploads and 105 photo comments (some of which were from extremely keen  and random females hmmm). Anyhoo, I decided to post some of these comments, enjoy!

Comment 1: luk @ ya eye i felt like touchin them
Comment 2: sweetie i'll give everytin in this world just to watchin u laughin
Comment 3: ...Daamn girl like the attitude look..anyways..it's not often we find raw talent and beauty like this at our fingertips...but we already know that don't we?! I'd just like to steal you away to my country, no fine lady should suffer in the cold..and not alone anyway ;) xx
Comment 4: ,,,anya-azu!!!~ (translation: fish eye wth??!!)
Comment 5: ...hehe..lots of flirts around..hey. truthfully...this girl is bam! she tight...i mean hey! who is blind here??
Comment 6: hi girl, u got cherry eyes, they are a master piece!
Comment 7: Hot ice.....if eyes could kill these ones would be a nuke!!
Comment 8: baby u leave me speechless
Comment 9: Na wa oh! Fa ekwusigon ife nine. Jisike! (translation: wow, they've said it all, take it easy or soin like that lol)
Comment 10: Hey babie,ur dem beautifull,i found ur pics so mesmerizing. Can i meet with u pls.just as a frend
Comment 11: WALAHI!! Victor no lie at all, dis babe na die, Chineke!! anything wey fine pass dis go be mammy water, it don't get no better. Girl u's the bomb jiggy, keep it real.
Comment 12: omo men.....................chai ..................this is toooooooooooooo fly.........this here's the true defintion of a bunz chic........why would anyone want to put a pic on their profile after seeing this..............it makes the rest of us look like OGRES
Comment 13: Girl you are beautiful. I know I can't be running round saying taht to often - my wife would kill me if I did - but I give credit where credit is due. And you...... damn. Your fine girl.
Comment 14: gOd!!! anything more attractive... would have to be water after 50yrs in the desert. u's beautiful! holla from Winnipeg... Canada!
Comment 15: babe you are so sweet,neat,clean and the most of all is that every part of your body RADIATE BEAUTY,infact you are a JEWEL.

WARNING: Guys do not try these lines at a club / bar you will get ditched fi real lol!

The Other Woman

I've got to say I'm having the best summer of my life so far. A lot of exciting and unexpected things have come together over the last few months and for the first time in a long a** time, I actually have the time and stamina to revel in it all! So in the spirit of celebrating summer 2010 and all the great things that come with sunshine in the city such as: great shopping, cute and skimpy outfits, brave new looks (makeup, nails, hair), tourists (especially the Italian men hubba hubba lol), fiercely hot people (I always saved my talent scouting for holidays but London is BRINGING IT this summer damn!), parties, festivals and all that other good stuff, I thought I had do a post about the not so fabulous side of summer (for some).

Following up on my earlier post Old Dogs, New Dicks, I had a lot of interesting conversations with my male / female friends and I was initially going to do a part 2 piece but as always, Carrie's issues butted out that idea and gave me a whole new topic. She basically bullied me into putting a modern (well SATC is kinda ancient now) spin on Season 3's Attack of the 5'10" Woman. In that episode, she obsessed greatly over Big's younger, taller and better looking (subjective) wife and basically made a fool out of herself. Like most other women, she made it about Natasha (Big's wife) and not Big. Shocking! But a lot of us women do it and watching Carrie, it is an ugly habit. There are three kinds of women in this world, the one that cares not for the woman/man (you never know these days) that come before/after them, another that cares waaaaay too much about the woman/man that existed before her and lastly one that cares for both. It is a sad fact but we all know women live to obsess. If we aren't obsessing about our hair, nails, shoes, bags, accesssories, jobs, men, food or cats (ewwww!), best believe we are obsessing about something and sometimes, it is the other woman.

Speaking to a whole bunch of girlfriends, I wanted to understand why we do this because as far as I know guys merely give this irritating part of a relationship much attention. I initially opened up this post with tales of how summer has been fabulous (particularly after an amazing day of Scribblediva inspired mayhem on Bond Street) because for me it was fun having all this male attention, but for a lot of women who were walking down the streets with their husband or fiance or boyfriend, it was hell! Linking that back to Carrie's obsession and her question "Are there women who exist merely to make you feel inadequate?" I realised this is a whole new area self-help authors are yet to untap (kerching!). Okay I digress, but point is women have a serious problem with other women especially when it gets personal, like knowing you have shared the same guy or even shopped in the same stores lol. Fickle, granted, but the ability to deal with your obsession over his past conquests and potential future conquests is your problem and to some extent his. Leave the other woman out of it. Calling her names with your girlfriends and going out of your way to prove to yourself and everyone else you are better than her, is a waste of valuable time and energy. The fact she was in his past speaks volumes and the fact you are worrying about who is to come after you, speaks even louder volumes about the sort of person you are. And as a fellow woman, can I just say MEN you need to give us a little hand here. No one is saying you should lack creativity when it comes to dating but for crying out loud, don't blame us for going a little psycho when you show us a picture of your Lady Gaga looking ex and we are a picture of Reese Witherspoon circa Legally Blonde (like come on!!! lol). Also, do not dismiss our questions about why it didn't work or what you find different this time around, because then our alarm bells go haywire and we just think REBOUND. There are so many other things (surely) but each couple is different, this is just a starting point. Reflecting on a quote I came up with a while ago, I still believe in the importance of the past, present and future because "contained in today is tomorrow and yesterday" (get it!).

How I got my scribble back...

To be a great writer you have to be an even greater reader (in my opinion). I made this discovery back in 2007, when thanks to an old friend (Chairman and Founder of a reputable UK asset management firm), re-opened my eyes to the world of literature. I was fortunate to have bagged a sit next to him at a closing dinner we had thrown at Sketch, to celebrate the successful UK listing of a Vietnamese hedge fund firm. All night, he charmed me with great tales of his trips to Nigeria and other African nations and challenged my knowledge of African Literature which at the time was nil. Having always had a preference for all things foreign, I found my mini library of novels constituted mainly of UK and US chick lit authors which my friend referred to as jargon. So I did what every book lover would do, I went out and bought an extensive list of books from recommended African authors and also picked up a couple of African American titles too. It was during this time that my love for words, reading and writing took a whole new turn and I found myself getting my writing groove back. For anyone who wants to write, you have to feed yourself not just with other books but with life. Travel, go out, watch a play or musical, meet people, learn a new language, drink a little, explore and don't forget scribble, scribble, scribble cause you just never know when it will ALL come together :-)

I leave you with a list of my top rated reads. You will find majority of them are centred around characters that have been displaced from where they would naturally call "home" and find themselves adapting to circumstances, cultures, people and relationships in their new homes. I find these stories immensely insightful given the dynamic world we now live in, where globalisation means a lot of us will reside in different countries or continents at some point in our lives for the sake of education, work, relationships and leisure to name a few. It is interesting to see how this decision impacts us and those around us.

1. A Day Late and A Dollar Short, Terry McMillan

2. Purple Hibiscus, Chimamanda Adichie

3. Half of a Yellow Sun, Chimamanda Adichie

4. The Thing Around Your Neck, Chimamanda Adichie

5. Everything Good Will Come, Sefi Atta

6. The Interruption of Everything, Terry McMillan

7. A Life Elsewhere, Segun Afolabi

8. Mama, Terry McMillan

9. Sundowners, Lesley Lokko

10. Milk in my Coffee, Eric Jerome Dickey

Old Dogs, New Dicks

I haven't exactly suffered from writer's block......more the opposite and of course a lack of time or energy to type up all the great scribbles I've compiled since my last blog post but I'm determined to publish a few posts tonight as I finally got my kryptonite >>>>Ribena!!!

The title Old Dogs, New Dicks was inspired by an episode from Sex & the City Season 2, when Carrie desperately tried to inform Big she had a major problem with his wandering eye. I found myself laughing out loud several times as I could totally relate, although unlike Carrie I strangely encouraged the scoping sessions. After all, you gotta know what the competition is saying so you can tighten your game (or so I like to think). But I also understood her frustration with this niggling and to some extent unnecessary bad habit. I felt the need to write about it because I have found myself playing the role of the "ogled woman" quite a lot this summer probably because for a change I am not trapped in an office during people friendly hours lol. For the first summer in the last couple of years, I actually have the time to get dolled up, show off my 36-inch- inseam legs and cause some trouble on the streets of London (indeed). But I am not doing this for your man (or anyone else for that matter) lol. And trust me I don't appreciate his ogling any more than you do cause it is rather uncomfortable at best. But what do you do about a man whose eyes dance around especially when the temperature reaches anything above 21°C in good old London where the world's greatest sun worshippers reside. A stroll down Oxford Street on a typical sunny summer day could be a potential minefield for a lot of couples. Whilst conducting research for this post, I was determined to keep count of how many men I nabbed using their side eye to check out the female talent on the high street. I really couldn't keep up. Even more shocking, women were doing the exact same thing! Lol. I soon got distracted myself as I was getting my own fair share of attention (perhaps my frantic scribbling in the middle of a very busy road had something to do with that).

Being an inquisitive person by nature, I googled "roving eye" and stumbled across one of those agony aunt type questions where a lady called Sally Ann wrote in, asking for advice on how to deal with her man's roving eye. The dating guru replied: tit for tat, he drools at women, you do the same for men. I say: he drools at women, you beat him to the chase and scope her first! Soon it will become a sport and maybe one of "your things" (you know how couples love to say it's "our thing" to do some pretty strange things, but because it's "their thing" you can't outright tell them they are nuts lol). I may be wrong but I know one thing for sure, never try to change a man and if you can't beat 'em, you might as well join 'em! Oh one more thing, you might wanna try looking extra hot the next time you are out with him and let him get p*ssed off about all the guys ogling you like a piece of meat. Then he just might think a little more, the next time he finds his eyes wandering......just a thought.