Following up on my earlier post Old Dogs, New Dicks, I had a lot of interesting conversations with my male / female friends and I was initially going to do a part 2 piece but as always, Carrie's issues butted out that idea and gave me a whole new topic. She basically bullied me into putting a modern (well SATC is kinda ancient now) spin on Season 3's Attack of the 5'10" Woman. In that episode, she obsessed greatly over Big's younger, taller and better looking (subjective) wife and basically made a fool out of herself. Like most other women, she made it about Natasha (Big's wife) and not Big. Shocking! But a lot of us women do it and watching Carrie, it is an ugly habit. There are three kinds of women in this world, the one that cares not for the woman/man (you never know these days) that come before/after them, another that cares waaaaay too much about the woman/man that existed before her and lastly one that cares for both. It is a sad fact but we all know women live to obsess. If we aren't obsessing about our hair, nails, shoes, bags, accesssories, jobs, men, food or cats (ewwww!), best believe we are obsessing about something and sometimes, it is the other woman.
Speaking to a whole bunch of girlfriends, I wanted to understand why we do this because as far as I know guys merely give this irritating part of a relationship much attention. I initially opened up this post with tales of how summer has been fabulous (particularly after an amazing day of Scribblediva inspired mayhem on Bond Street) because for me it was fun having all this male attention, but for a lot of women who were walking down the streets with their husband or fiance or boyfriend, it was hell! Linking that back to Carrie's obsession and her question "Are there women who exist merely to make you feel inadequate?" I realised this is a whole new area self-help authors are yet to untap (kerching!). Okay I digress, but point is women have a serious problem with other women especially when it gets personal, like knowing you have shared the same guy or even shopped in the same stores lol. Fickle, granted, but the ability to deal with your obsession over his past conquests and potential future conquests is your problem and to some extent his. Leave the other woman out of it. Calling her names with your girlfriends and going out of your way to prove to yourself and everyone else you are better than her, is a waste of valuable time and energy. The fact she was in his past speaks volumes and the fact you are worrying about who is to come after you, speaks even louder volumes about the sort of person you are. And as a fellow woman, can I just say MEN you need to give us a little hand here. No one is saying you should lack creativity when it comes to dating but for crying out loud, don't blame us for going a little psycho when you show us a picture of your Lady Gaga looking ex and we are a picture of Reese Witherspoon circa Legally Blonde (like come on!!! lol). Also, do not dismiss our questions about why it didn't work or what you find different this time around, because then our alarm bells go haywire and we just think REBOUND. There are so many other things (surely) but each couple is different, this is just a starting point. Reflecting on a quote I came up with a while ago, I still believe in the importance of the past, present and future because "contained in today is tomorrow and yesterday" (get it!).
